Fearless Leader Says... #1A
Rodeo only for those tough enough to take it

REAL bull riders RODEO. Why? Because its harder.

Anyone can ride once a week.... indoors.... on TV..... on good bulls... indoors... in front of packed houses ... with braless bunnies hanging over the rail.... in front of famous former RODEO stud bull riders for $10,000-$100,000 in prize money. That's for WIMPS. Pretty boy TV soap opera stars. Where's the camera? Does my make-up look just right? FOO FOO BOYS. No entry fees.... kept women. Mistresses.

Be MEN. Load your spoiled and soiled bottoms up in a 1980 Buick and drive 1,000 miles a day-- day after day... or sit between two 300 lb farting ladies who are flying for $105 on a FAT FARE while you're paying $1005.....all the time brooding over being up at EVERY rodeo that week on the same day... and pay fines to an Association that is as funky as the Taliban... and worry if your $62 day money check made it to the bank... and try to remember if you're married and have children or if that picture came in your wallet.... EXPERIENCE truck stop and 7-11 cuisine for 210 days .... ... with a car window as a pillow....smell yourself... make decisions with a fogged-up brain.... try to figure out how to get entered and THEN every Thursday--how to get there--be up at 6 rodeos on the same day and have $1,000 bucks in entry fees on bulls you can't even get on....

and THEN crawl on 9 #hitters... and then finally have a good one that no one you know has ever seen or heard of...... with cross-eyed gatemen.... retarded flank man.... and cross dressing judges using real points and an 8 second watch.... with stirrup DQ rules...and non imaginary reride rules..... and a jerk yapping at you the entire time you're pulling....AND of course that ONE good bull will be loaded on the wrong side.... and you'll be riding in the mud ... or rain... or 120 degree sunshine... after fighting with parking lot gatemen who are convinced you're a Soviet spy.... and a rodeo committee who treats you like a homeless apple pie snatchin' trespasser..... and park your significant other in a seat that comes with a complimentary oxygen mask... or a flexible telescope to allow her to look around a post and of course ... a little sack of cracked corn to feed the pigeons.... and ride before 106 people (most of which slept under a viaduct the previous night).... and ride for $1,500 .... and when you do your little hat throwing celebration no one sees it and then someone STEALS your hat....and that ONE pretty girl in the stands can be merely a fantasy because you are 925 miles away from your next bull..... (assuming you're not a married guy, of course).

THEN ...... AFTER ALL THAT --RIDE GOOD.

If you can ride then making the transistion from rodeo to FOO FOO TV BULL Land is relatively easy. But even if you CAN ride -- making that transition in reverse is a real achievement. From powder puff to tough enough. From an only child to an abused child.

So.... before you bad mouth RODEO bull riders--load up and try it. Not just a rodeo here and there. RODEO.

BLAH... BLAH.. BLAH... I'd make the NFR.... I'd win the world... ---- that's just gas poppin out of a spoiled little butt. Prove it. LOAD your fanny up and try it. The guys who started FOO FOO TV BULL Land experienced bull riding that way. They suffered all that adversity and STILL prevailed. They appreciate what you have. You don't because you can't.

RODEO. It's a character builder. FOO FOO TV bull riders are the Niles Crains of our sport.

John Wayne rodeo'd. (think he's dead now) STRESS.

Bryan Mcdonald
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