pro
|
|
||
|
pro
|
|||
NFR 2000 FIFTH PERFORMANCEPen of Bulls: ALMOST FAMOUSSome of these bull boys are stunt doubles for the stars of bull riding. A star gets sick or there is a contract dispute--they’re ready to step in. And they have the credentials too. Most of those 90 point scores were racked up on these bulls during the year but they don’t get ridden that often either. Unlike last night’s pen nearly all of these bulls are veterans. Been there -- done that type stuff. Rodeos, bull ridings, bars, trade shows, they’ve seen it all. Should be several good rides tonight if the guys can get all that crap from last night scraped of their chaps and out of their minds. B.S. is part of any business particularly ones that require REAL bulls. This set of bull riders have guys who are soon to be bull riding superstars. Instead of being mean to them the NFR out to have each one of them in a luxury suite at Thomas and Mack. Surgically enhanced topless maidens feeding them grapes. Carry them to the chutes. Bow alot. Wouldn’t hurt to grovel a little.
Cody Hancock 551 Fire Ball Growney/KishPretty hard to go wrong in this pen and this bull is electric enough that it might set him apart points wise. Looks like a good draw in this pen. Ross Coleman rode him at the PBR finals. Donald Kish thinks that this is an outstanding little bull. Donald Kish also thinks that the world is flat. To solve the Florida election irregularities they shoulda just asked Kish. Taken him less than 30 seconds. Wrong-- of course. I asked him his opinion on something about midnight last night....got tired--went to bed--- when I walked through the lobby this morning he was still talking. “And another thing I don’t like is....” Rob Bell 56 Tadpole FranklinRob gets the happy camper award. Was 90.5 on TAD at the Canadian Finals. Secret agents said that this was the best bull in Canada. Didn’t have a very good day at Cody Snyder’s Bull Bustin in Calgary but looked like he got caught in too close to the chutes to maneuver. Really good draw. Girlitz sold a bull called Millennium . Best looking young bull I’ve seen. I only saw him one trip. Almost bucked too hard. Might hurt himself. Tyler Fowler 231 Mad Max Stace SmithTylers been on this bull before. Bull bucks pretty hard and the judges should like him. Really bucked at Cheyenne and bucked good with Danell at the Mesquite Tour deal finals dealy thing. Pro rodeo? How would YOU like to make the NFR--a dream of yours since you were little-(littler)- never said a harsh word to anyone -- have been 0-3, 103 fever, sick, sore---then a bull falls on you-- THEN you have someone yelling at you to get your rope on a reride bull. “But Sir?” GET YOUR ROPE ON! “But” I SAID GET YOUR ROPE ON HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HMMM. Wonder how those Wrangler bulls fight with a bull rider on their back?
Dan Wolfe 58 Little Wasp GuidryI kept checking the bathroom stalls to make sure Rockin Wolfe hadn’t hung himself early on. But he’s still with us and he’s back to winning. This should be the go round. Very cool bull. Lee Akin 521 Windmill Beutler/GaylordBrahmer cross.... gets it right there. Lee knows this bull so well they may share a dorm room in college. Mid to high 80’s. A couple of good rides and he can been in the running for the gold buckle again. Cory Check 0- Naepalm Rumford?The only bull in this pen that I haven’t seen. Danell and Lonnie Carpenter said this is a great little bull.... think Danell was 92 on him at a bull riding. This might be one of them partnership bulls. Tommy has the title this week. Cory would like nothing better than leap frog a few guys. Speaking of almost famous stunt doubles and movies and stuff...... A couple of nights ago.... I get into an elevator... heading up to my room.... all alone --empty space except for me.... and to my surprise in steps a beautiful woman in a low cut (but tasteful) evening gown. Mid twenties I’m guessing. Surgically enhanced for sure. She is beyond beautiful... the blue-est eyes.... blond (natural I’m sure), the completion of a goddess . I’m just guessing on that stuff--my radar has locked on to the enhancements. Model? Hooker? (If so.... call Farm Credit--the place is going on the block in the next few minutes). Maybe an actress? Who does she look like... I can’t place her.... oh yeah... a young Kim Basinger. With ENHANCEMENTS. I look up... oh oh... HER eyes appear to be aimed at belt buckle level or a little further south (which is now becoming a lot further North). “Uh, Hi... that sure is a lovely gress... er... dress” Hard to speak and drool at the same time “Well... thank you.” “Have we met somewhere before? You look SO familiar.” Now I get it.... I’ve been told by more than one beauty that I’m a dead ringer for Brad.... Brad Pitt. She’s digging me. “Yes.... I’m sure if it. You a model?” “Oh no.... I’m much too full figured... I have to have my Ben & Jerrys. Actually, I’m an actress”. Move over ice cream boys Mr. GIANT SCOOP is in the building. “Wow..... uh..... cool... uh... far out. Television or movies. I knew you looked familiar.” “Videos.” “I love music videos. Which ones are you in?” “The latest is the Miss July one. Hi I’m Heather. I guess you’ve probably seen it--that’s why I look familiar.” “ No... uh... never have .... haven’t... uh.... gee... ..... Playboy? not sure I’ve heard of that.” “I haven’t had any serious work yet mostly I frolic a lot on beaches.. sexy lingerie--that type of thing.” Holy crap. Compose yourself. To her I’m Brad Pitt... kinda... sorta. VaROOM VAROOM. Drivers start your engines. She presses the STOP BUTTON on the elevator. Both of us fall down. Me on top. Always the gentleman— I cop a feel--helping her up. It’s time to make my move.... “You doing a video here?” “No actually I love bull riding. I watch it all the time on TV. The bull riders are staying in this hotel aren’t they?” “Yep... you need some tickets.” Little does she know that I have one balcony ticket in row Z100. “No thanks... but I would like to meet some bull riders.” “Yeah? Hey, we could go up to my room... and I couldmakesomecalls.” (my words are running together because I’m talking real fast because my heart is POUNDING. Heart attack type pounding. No –I’m okay…. that tingling isn’t in my left arm). “I’m up on the ninth floor.” “Oh thanks but I have a suite here. No... really I’m here to meet a bull rider. Do you know Cory Check?’ “Cory Check? Are you from Wisconsin?” Now that’s a DUMB question. She isn’t wearing wooden shoes, have braids, or carrying a milk bucket. “Oh no, I’m from L.A. I just have a crush on Cory Check.” “CORY CHECK? ” “Yes... it’s silly ... I know....I’ve never actually met him... I’ve just seen him on television. He is so handsome. He looks like Tom Cruise.” “Cory Check... the bull rider... looks like Tom Cruise the actor? Do you have a history of mental illness in your family?” “Oh you’re so funny.” “Yeah, I’m a real David Letterman.... you wouldn’t have any ULTRA STRENGTH Excedrin in your purse would you? What floor you need?” CUT TO NINTH FLOOR: A WOMAN (80’s) waits for the elevator. The elevator door opens. Brad Pitt slowly backs out.... dragging an unconscious Kim Basinger. “Oh dear!....What happened?” I can’t tell her that when the elevator started up again this bimbo fell and hit her head on one of her boobs.... she’ll call security. “She’s had a touch of the flu. The elevator made her light headed. Would you mind opening my door for me? I need to get her right to bed. This happens every time she gets the bug. We usually try to stay on the first floor.” OUTSIDE BRAD’S ROOM: The little old lady opens the door. “You take care of her... I’d sure get her out of that dress... it will improve her circulation”. And MINE too. “Yes ma’am..... I will. Thank you for your concern. Would you mind putting the “Do not disturb” on? Oh .... thanks. G’night.” Take THAT Tom Cruise.
Greg Potter K417 After Shock Big BendAnother one of those reds. He was an A Teamer in the short go at the Cow Palace. Has been marked at 23 or more nearly every time he’s been out. Had been goofy in the chute but has settled down unless we can manage to scream and get goofy and screw him up. Looks like Greg is getting into a groove. Jesse Bail 70 Black Cat Moon WesternHow hard does this guy try? Man O Man. Really good bull.... gets in the air. Gonna place. I got a few late night phone calls from The Forces of Evil concerning this selection. Hey...call Sherlock Holmes.... sounds like a personal problem. I HATE late night phone calls...... INT. BEDROOM ( NIGHT) The CLOCK on the night stand tells us it’s 4:06 A.M. Sleeping soundly for the first time in weeks (several recent family tragedies) we find Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Ooops... we thought it was. No.....it’s BRYAN and PATTY McDONALD. The phone RINGS. PATTY screams herself awake. BRYAN leaps six feet in the air, spins like an Olympic figure skater .... and deftly lands in a lethal karate stance. His EYES search the darkness for the assailants. Most likely Ninjas. Possibly Stock Contractors. His NOSTRILS flare.... seeking that tell tale odor. None. Must be Ninjas. CLOSE ON His granite chiseled UPPER TORSO. One, two, three pucker marks. Removing bullets from your own body leaves memories. So many knife SCARS that one might surmise that at some time or another he’s encountered a coked up Zorro or nineteen Puerto Ricans. The phone RINGS again. Bryan picks it up warily.... holds it at arms length suspecting some new lethal sonic brain destroying virus transmitted via the phone lines. Instead.... we HEAR a voice.... a squeaky voice.... like someone kicked Mickey Mouse in the nuteroonies. Like chalk on a black board. VOICE: Hey Bluh.... RYE ... UN.... BRYAN: You MF..CS... DS... SOB... you ever call here again I’ll kill you. He throws the phone against the wall. Actually through the wall (modular dwelling). A dog YELPS in the other room. PATTY: On the floor between the bed and the wall. Sobbing quietly. (barely a whisper) " I wish Growney wouldn’t drink." Bryan does a triple somersault over the bed . Gently picks her up. Covers her quivering body with a quilt. BRYAN: Sorry I cursed, honey. Try to go back to sleep. As we PAN AWAY the McDonalds stare at the ceiling. There will be no sleep tonight.... maybe never again. As certain as the sun now rising in the Eastern sky, someone will pay for this--with his life. FADE OUT
Philip Elkins 514 Real Deal Growney/KishAnother bull that has a full tank of high octane but rides really good once you get a good seat. This too could be a 90. Philip is still high in the average... he has a good shot if he can win a round or two. Josh O’Byrne +2 Smoking Joe BaileySome guys may think this big boy is too good to ride for this pen but at the Mesquite Copenhagen Cup deal--he had two outstanding days. Potter really made a nice ride on him in the top four. Had his hands full for a couple of round. Will go out a ways until he gets on the correct lead. Josh should place. Danell Tipton 3F Spin Doctor AndrewsDanell nows this bull and doesn’t think he fits him... away from his hand and doesn’t kick. Judges see him as a 23 so if Danell can get it rollin... he will be a ton of points. Fred Boettcher 50 Hammer Time Bad CompanyThis little bull is the STAR of his herd. I didn’t think he bucked very good the trip I saw him on the PBR Finals telecast. This herd gets it’s fannies bucked off ALL year. Little bull bucks big. Fred might be 92-94 if this bull has his best day. Big Mac’s 2000 Bull Awards:
Robey Condra 601 El Smacko Big BendRobey should get a long good with this yellow bull. Think Hancock won a round in Pocatello on him. Not the buckiest bull in this pen but sure a cut above a gassy spinner. A pattern bucker. Speaking of late night phone calls.... San Francisco.... a MAN is in the bull pens.... curled up under a tarp... trying to keep the rain out. A HURRICANE actually. Surrey bomber sized drops of rain are chipping away the cement he lies upon. A cell phone RINGS.... NFR bull RED CRUSHER lifts up the corner of the tarp with his horn. Puts his head down where the drenched guy can take the ear phones off his head. CRUSHER: It’s for you... some guy named George Gibbs. Calling collect. TARP GUY: Figures. Headphones? CRUSHER: Satellite .... need it where we go sometimes. Bum#@*# nowhere. The headphones are so large that the tarp guy has to listen on only one of the saucer sized orbs. GIBBS (VO) (out of breath) Hey Bryan.... we’re at the First Frontier Circuit Finals... ( catches breath) Two bulls.... really buck.... gotta take um. Same two …. we said… to…. take last year. TARP GUY: They didn’t nominate last year. Geez... The list has to be in first thing in the morning. That’s a long way to haul um ‘specially if we take only one. Nah... it’s too big a risk.. GIBBS (VO) (still out of breath) Sorry... the elevators are out. Danged executive suites are on the 37th floor. (pause) Here ... talk to Steve. The capichino machine is frothing over. STEVE (VO) Yeh.... TARP GUY: Good enough? STEVE (VO) The black white face is better but he stalled when they opened the gate. The black... he’s plenty good enough. You gotta take one from back here. They need something to show them that they are part of the association. (beat) You in the shower? A gust of WIND rips the blue tarp out of his hands. It disappears into the night. CUT TO: SKY ABOVE SAN FRANCISCO AIRPORT SAME NIGHT A DC 1011 is making its final approach. COCKPIT. PILOT’S VIEW The WINDSHIELD suddenly shatters sending razor-like shards of glass into the cockpit. PILOT’S THROAT Blood SPURTS. A 10 inch shard has cut his jugular as neatly as an Okie in a bar fight. Oh… oh… the guy is wearing a piece of the blue tarp like a muffler. CO PILOT (VO) Tower... we have a problem.... (screams)) CUT BACK TO: BULL PENS TARPLESS GUY: Yeah... I’m in the *# @# ing shower. You sure? You talk to Constantinople, Carr, and Rowen? STEVE (VO) Said both oughta go. I was surprised ...there’s a few guys that can ride back here. TARP GUY: I don’t know, man. It’s a long... STEVE (VO) (interrupting) George and I will bet our jobs on it. TARPLESS GUY: No... you’re betting your nuts on it. Promise to pay the bull rider whatever this bull costs him if he doesn’t buck? STEVE Yeah.. sure.... we promise. We HEAR an EXPLOSION. NIGHT SKY BEHIND THEM FLASHES... for a moment illuminating the seascape for miles. Fades back into darkness again. He puts the headset back on Red Crusher. CRUSHER: What was that? TARPLESS: Plane musta gone down. SIRENS... lots of them. CRUSHER: I can stay home if you need a hole. No biggie. TARPLESS GUY: Nah. We’ll ax another one of Growneys. Maybe Kish’ll kill him. Save me the cost of a bullet. We PAN UP leaving the Tarpless Man sitting in the manure--surrounded by his friends. His ONLY friends. FADE OUT: Kagan Sirett 4 Skoals Grey Cat BaileyReally good Brahmer.... pretty tricky around the corner then rides good. Makes lots of rounds. Bucked really good at the Mesquite deal. Kagan should place here. Bull was going to be the Prairie Circuit Bull of the Year until Mr. Bailey talked the bull riders out of it. RERIDES: Not necessarily in order. If not bucked they will be out again Thursday NightA10
Copenhagen El Nino Five Star
|