Dear Santa... Dec 14, 07 6:55 pm  By: Slade Dear Santa, I haven't written in years, but I have a few things on my list now that family and friends probably can't get me. For a guy my age, I've probably been nicer than anyone would expect, so I'm hoping you will be able to help me out this year. 1: I need more RAM (random access memory). Not for my computer, but for my brain. I'm not asking for any more than what's rightfully mine, as I know I used to have plenty, and somehow some of it disappeared, and now I can't remember what I ate for lunch some days. 2: While on the subject of things I used to have that don't seem to be with me anymore, how about my formerly invincible body. Nowadays I get knee injuries and stupid stuff that only old people get. So do you think you could restore my immunity to minor injuries? If you can help with my metabolism too, that would be great. 3: Can you have the elves that make bluejeans stop sewing the inside of the pockets to the outseam of the pants? You know what I mean. I need free swinging pockets. I hate when they are sewn to the pants and the stuff in my pockets can't move around freely. While you're at it, can you make the front pockets MUCH LARGER. I have a lot of stuff to carry around, and I need large pockets. The back pockets are fine. I don't even use them anymore, since at my age my money goes out so fast I have to keep it in the front pocket along with pocketknife, keys and everything else for easy access. If you can't get them to change the jeans, how about coming out with some old guy pants. Loose fit, large pockets. Thanks. 4: I need some socks that will only fit my feet, and I need them adjustable length so whatever the weather is, I can raise or lower my socks as needed. Also I'd like to have an alarm on them so that if any one sock gets more than 10 feet away from its mate, an alarm will go off, and if they get put on my son's feet the alarm will go off... etc. 5: Since it's wintertime, how about a small barrel of Maker's Mark. With some kind of lock on it. For emergencies only - you know. 6: I want a universal remote control that only has an OFF button so I can just turn any sort of thing off at will. 7: And finally, I'd like a LOT of smaller, lighter, and more powerful batteries. With those, I can rule the world. Thanks, Santa - I sure hope you can help... and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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